Clara and Claire Page 8

  I stood up and paced around the room. I doubted anyone understood the decision weighing on me. In the meeting room I had been certain of leaving, but perhaps leaving was the craziest idea year. Nothing waited for me in Rajoor, and no one there would ever see me as anyone else but Isaak’s daughter.

  This vast island had more to offer than my quiet hometown. I had already survived the darkness that had engulfed my childhood. A new city offered me a fresh start. Somewhere I could finally be free of everyone’s judgments.

  While I debated against returning to the simple life I once led, nothing compared to the surprise awaiting Jhase. Though he might seem unlikely to handle the stress of the situation, he deserved to know the truth. He remained under the assumption that no harm had befallen his daughter. Was it my obligation to tell him the truth? Or would I leave without explaining myself to anyone?

  Give me a damn sign, Claire. I closed my eyes, pausing where I stood, and listened, but nothing happened. I did not expect anything, but I wished for someone’s guidance. How could I connect with someone I had never met? Wherever she was, she did not know my current situation. I stayed in her room wearing her clothes to betray everyone she loved. It was pure trickery, no matter how Gemma and Declan explained it. At the least I could leave before anyone second-guessed me. I did not want to risk ruining Claire’s name by being here.

  The downpour changed to a steady rainfall. It rained often in Rajoor during this time of the year as well, and large puddles would form around Mother’s house. Though the people in Ninomay were different, perhaps the land was not as foreign as Mother had led me to believe.

  I stared from my window. Something warm and furry rubbed against my legs, and I leaned over to pet Claire’s cat.

  Knock, knock. I turned around and rushed to the door. If Ezra arrived perhaps I could suggest leaving earlier than we planned. Opening the door, I saw none other than Declan standing outside. I moved aside and gestured for him to enter. I did not know how much he knew about today’s events. I glanced down at his boots and pants, noting that looked identical to the ones from earlier. Was Declan also trying to keep me from the truth?

  He moved swiftly through the room, and I twirled my hair while waiting for him to say something. Had he seen Ezra and I together? Even in broad daylight I could not trust anyone. This seemed like yet another sign for me to leave and never look back.

  “Ezra asked the meeting time to be changed to this afternoon,” he said. His eyes slowly fell on my face and he glared. “Why must you mock me, Clara? Do you not realize you look exactly like her?”

  He stepped closer and I held out my hand as a warning. I would not resist using magic to defend myself. Despite Claire’s absence, my rights had not disappeared along with her. I was entitled to a fair fight, and Declan’s mind proved to be clouded.

  Declan ignored my hand entirely and continued. “You fool everyone so easily with a pretty face. She’s the only woman I am willing to die for. She’s been gone for one day, and it feels like eternity to me. How can I make you understand my agony?”

  Stepping forward again, he fell to his knees, sobbing. I stared down at him, entirely speechless. This side of Declan remained a mystery to me. Perhaps the other times in Claire’s room he had reason to allow his emotions to paint his face. Whatever the reason, he was right in everything he said. Claire and I were strangers to each other. Though there was more to learn about Declan, these words and tears felt sincere. I had never seen a man display his love and passion for a woman.

  Sighing, I knelt down and faced Declan. He avoided acknowledging me while tears streamed down his face. Quietly, I said, “I know the Council will stop at nothing to find Claire. She’s not lost to us forever.”

  Whether Claire had a chance of surviving outside of this world, I could not say. Mages did not disappear like other species. The only known cases of “disappearances” ended with the mage being a victim of crime or a deceitful person. No one ever suggested she might have run away from her life. Considering the support system in her life, I doubted it too. Beautiful and familiar faces could easily trick even the smartest of people.

  “You can’t leave. Claire is the key to everything. Do you want the islands to erupt with rage again? If you stay, I swear I’ll fight with you no matter the consequences.” He wiped the majority of tears away but focused on the wooden floor.

  His words caught me off guard as no one had fought for me to stay. Declan knew better than anyone that I wanted to leave as soon as I arrived. While he offered a valid point I could not be Claire’s replacement. I had watched denial and neglect destroy a family once, and I would not support it again. Claire deserved to be found, and I did not desire to be her permanent substitute. The search had a better chance of succeeding with the help of the Council and Watchers.

  “I can’t stay, you know that...” I stood up and approached the window. The rain fell steady outside, and I pressed my hand against the glass. While I had learned a lot here, I suspected to learn more at home. Mother could answer what I had failed to discover on my own. I did not belong in Ninomay; fate had made it so for twenty years. It was too late for me to be here, uncovering a mystery that was not my own.

  Declan cleared his throat. I turned around to face him, and he stood up with a clear face. “I assumed your decision was final. I saw Ezra and Gemma in the meeting room before finding you. I thought I could change your mind... Seems you’re stubborn just like Claire.”

  “I should return home. Walk with me?” I offered my hand, and he nodded without accepting it. We exited the room, and Declan reassured me that I could remain in Claire’s clothes when I left the island. He explained that she had more than enough dresses and would not miss one.

  As we continued, I tried to think of comfort or advice to offer. It seemed better for me to remain silent, seeing as I knew nothing about how the Council handled cases like this.

  The walk to the meeting room felt shorter than previously. Ezra and Gemma stopped in the middle of their conversation. I feared how long they would delay the meeting now with my departure. Everyone stared, sharing the same grave expression with the knowledge of my decision. I announced my departure, and Ezra did not challenge the timing. I shook hands with Declan and approached Gemma, offering her a handshake.

  She embraced me awkwardly, squeezing me tightly as though we were old friends. Whispering in my ear, she said, “Find her.”

  As she released me, Ezra quickly nudged me to leave the room. I glanced back at Declan, but he had already accepted my goodbye. Ezra urged me to hurry, as we would not want anyone to question us. I suspected he also needed more time to prepare for the meeting.

  “Are you angry with my decision?”

  “No, I told you, I cannot be selfish. Do I wish for you to stay? Of course, but not for the reasons Gemma and Declan do. You were forced into this, and I’ll never forgive them for that. Today you made a choice as a free woman. Should you ever return again that’s what you’ll be,” he said. We descended the staircase, and servants downstairs greeted us as we drew closer. We smiled at them and acted normal, but I did not know about our plan once outside.

  “Did you and Gemma—”

  “Not now, Claire...” Ezra opened the front door and gestured for me to step outside first. He followed behind and grabbed my arm as he shut the door. Pulling me closer to him, he leaned in, breathing into my ear. “The rain will remove any traces of an illusion. Anything Gemma changed will return to its original form. Wear your hood. We can’t afford for anyone to see you.”

  Without waiting, he pulled the hood over my head and we continued. As soon as we stepped into the rain I could see a strand of violet hair in the corner of my eyes. I wanted to know what plans Ezra and Gemma had made, but he moved in haste, not allowing for conversation, and it seemed unfair of me to continue asking. I was the one who had decided to leave. If I wanted to be a part of the solution, I had to stay in Ninomay. As hard as it might be to abandon Claire’s family and friends in a ti
me of need, it would be harder to stay under false pretenses.

  We reached the cover of trees, and Ezra pulled me aside again. He withdrew a golden key from his pocket and placed it in my hands. Pressing my hands together around the key, he said, “As promised, this is your passage home. I bought you a portal key from a vendor. It’s yours to keep. This is as far as I should go, but you can use any of the lampposts ahead. Be careful and leave before anyone sees you.”

  “Ezra, wait…” I grabbed at the sleeve of his tunic. Since I would no longer be meeting with the Council, I desired the answer to one last question. If what Nicholaus told me was true then Ezra’s response should confirm it.

  “Do white roses exist anymore?”

  For the first time since we left he paused and frowned. Slowly, he responded, “The very last of them are locked away. Only councilors know about their location. The room is heavily guarded, and no one can use them without Jhase’s knowledge. Why do you ask?”

  I shook my head, quickly denying any further knowledge of them. Ren’s family had no connections to the Council, or at least none that I knew of. Since no one in Rajoor practiced illusions, the rose could not have been anything else. Someone inside the castle might have betrayed the Council’s trust, and perhaps Claire’s too.

  Ezra crossed his arms and sighed. “I wish I had gotten the chance to know you better, Clara. Claire is my childhood best friend, like a sister to me. We have known each other for years, and I envied her for finding love before me.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I ran out of time with you... I’m sorry we met under these circumstances. In another time and place I would chase you to no prevail.”

  He wiped a single tear as it leaked from his eye but quickly released my hands and lowered his head. I unfastened the necklace holding his ring and returned it to him. He quickly turned away and departed without another word.

  Words clogged my throat and tears filled my eyes. Did I actually have feelings for complete strangers? No man had ever cried at the thought of my absence in their life. Ezra was more genuine than any of the men I had known in my life. I had ruined this day for him, but never once did he turn against me.

  I barely knew any of these people, yet they valued me more than my own family at home. I wanted to run after Ezra, but the key in my hand argued otherwise. What if Mother had the answers, and staying here would only lead to me being caught up in another person’s life? Returning home was a logical decision. This was the last decision I might ever make in Ninomay, and if I left, I did not want to regret it.

  I gripped the key tightly and approached the closest lamppost.

  Chapter Ten

  Count the Cost

  I held the key in my left hand and took a deep breath. Claire, the white rose, and the fate of the islands: these were questions I risked leaving behind in Ninomay. I had gotten lucky with Ren and his arrest. If someone else had a white rose, especially in Ninomay, I might not be so lucky. The danger I saw in Rajoor carried over onto another island. What kind of mage would I be if I left this island and returned home, knowing lives remained at risk?

  I ran toward the castle. It did not matter if someone saw me. I would invent an excuse later if questioned, but running released me from the building tension in the pit of my stomach. Like Ezra had said, I was a free woman now. And as a free woman, no one else’s opinion mattered. A wild smile felt as though it consumed my entire face. I had made a lot of decisions in my life, but my confidence in this one did not fade. Not often does a person have a chance to rewrite their story.

  “Ezra, wait for me!”

  His hand froze, nearly touching the door, and he slowly turned around. His jaw dropped at the sight of me. He had almost made it inside, but I rushed to where he stood. Panting, I reached him and returned the key. He rejected the offer, pushing it back into my hand, and reminded me it was mine to keep. Despite his confusion we could not speak about this in the open. There remained too many windows and possible wondering eyes.

  “Shall we speak in private?” I asked quietly.

  The rain continued to drizzle, but Ezra waved his hand over my face and around my hair prior to stepping inside. Strands of hair fell in front of my face, appearing brown again. I had nearly forgotten I would need the illusion if I wanted to stay here. We entered inside as if everything was normal. I expected to see Declan and Gemma, but instead a pregnant woman and Vanessa walked down the hall in the opposite direction.

  “That’s Alesia, one of the councilors,” Ezra whispered, inclining his head toward the new face.

  The pregnant woman glanced back and smiled at me. She had a warmer face than anything Gemma had ever offered.

  Ezra led me through the ballroom again. It was entirely empty, tables and instruments having been taken away. We passed through the prayer room, where two young boys and an older man sat together. They kept their heads bowed, and we moved as silently as possible. Once through the doorway we entered into the library, which remained unoccupied. It was the last room on this side of the castle, and Ezra led me deeper inside than before.

  We walked down the last aisle of bookshelves. Ezra stopped and turned to me, kissing me without hesitation. I turned my head, blushing, but I did not stop him this time. Claire was not the only one I cared about. He grabbed my waist firmly, as if asserting that I belonged to him. My lips quivered and hands shook, and Ezra’s body pressed against mine sent shivers down my spine. I firmly pushed him away and stared at him, trying to refrain from breathing heavily. Even if Ezra and I wanted each other, this was the worst time to consider it. For now a kiss might be enough, but the desire in his eyes did not fade. He would want more, and soon, and in the meantime I needed to prepare myself both mentally and emotionally.

  “I’ve slept with men before… I’m not perfect,” I whispered.

  He snorted. “Are you trying to make me jealous? That doesn’t change anything.”

  His confidence left me stunned. I leaned against the bookshelf and stared at him. His eyes glimmered, and it seemed nothing about my past would change his mind. Some men still lived by old standards of only marrying a virgin woman. If Ezra’s family held onto this belief, he disregarded it because of me.

  Clearing his throat, Ezra said, “You’re here to stay this time?”

  “The man who awaits trial, Ren, was my previous lover. He attacked me two nights ago, but before his arrest he threatened my life. I thought he held a white rose in his hand. I’ve never seen one, but I can’t forget its image. The rose and now Claire’s disappearance cannot be coincidence.”

  Ezra reached out for my hand, but I smacked it away. I wanted to explain this was out of character for me. Instead I realized I had sunk back into my shell, hiding parts of myself away from him. Nicholaus and I knew each other since the day I was born. Ren and I spent years as friends before we dated. I never used to deny signs of affection, but perhaps the brutalities from my life finally caught up to me. A kiss, while harmless in this moment, could not evolve into something larger.

  I continued with more details on Ren’s importance, and Ezra did not question my belief. He listened without judgment, and it sounded no less likely than Claire’s disappearance. He promised to look into the dilemma and find out if anyone had requested the use of white roses recently.

  At Ezra’s silence I added, “I stayed for Claire. Whether we’re related or not, I want to help her. Declan told me I could change everything... And I want to do something positive with my life.”

  “And what of Rajoor?” Ezra asked, avoiding my eyes.

  “I thought I wanted to return home, but what would I return to? The place and people who are the root of my problems? Ninomay is dangerous because of who I’m pretending to be, but nothing else can push me down. Today, and every day after this, I choose to stand.”

  “I will never push you,” Ezra whispered, backing away slowly. Whatever was between Ezra and me required time and serious thought. Claire’s disappearance demanded I focus on her and returning Ninomay
to normal.

  “In these past few days the world has grown dark again. I cannot sit idly by and watch the darkness swallow us whole. We will be the force to stop it.”

  Pushing back my hair, I returned to my focus to the present. I said, “I will write my mother a letter, warning her the trial might take several days. It won’t buy us much time, but it will confirm my safety.”

  “This changes everything. We have a chance of finding Claire without doing any harm. You should speak with people close to her. Perhaps trick someone into writing something so we can compare it to the letter.”

  The closest people to Claire remained the Council, including family and friends. I intended on questioning everyone, including Ezra. Despite how he treated me, I needed to start over on a fresh page with this mystery. He, Gemma, and Declan remained too close to the situation to be unbiased. If I planned to uncover Claire’s enemy I would start with the people closest to me. Questioning them would test everything they shared with Claire. No secret would stay hidden so long as I stayed focused and in control. Everyone in the castle was a suspect, and no one could be let loose easily.

  “What’s next?” I asked, moving away from the bookshelf. Ezra grinned the widest I had seen since my arrival. He seemed happier, but I reminded myself to stay on task. My top priority was to rescue Claire from whatever or whoever kept her from home. It was possible Claire did not need saving, but more than twenty-four hours had passed. With each passing hour I juggled with the reality of her not coming home. No one wanted this to end with us finding Claire’s body.

  Ezra stroked the spines of the colorful books behind him. “Jhase will be expecting you for lunch. Gemma and I can push back the meeting until... tonight? Or tomorrow morning? Time is on our side again, so I’ll leave you to decide.”